Valentine's Day Thoughts
A few thoughts as we pass another Valentine's Day. First, I'll be honest, the cynic in me thinks that this "holiday" is a bunch of hooey, cooked up by Hallmark to sell some cards, flowers and whatever else people buy on Valentine's Day for their significant others. The romantic in me appreciates the deeper meaning of Valentine's Day; to set aside a day above most others to show the person you love how special they are to you. But to me, that romantic notion is part of what I believe is contributing to the decline of the institution of marriage in America.
I didn't exactly have the best role models for how to forge a lasting, loving relationship. My parents are good people, but like many they found themselves divorced after my brother and I left for college. I witnessed much chaos and mutual disrespect, which has a lasting effect on a teenage boy. I chose (yes, I believe there to be a choice in the matter) to unlearn what I had learned and now approach each of my relationships (whether family, friendships or romantic interests) from the standpoint of mutual respect. If you're going to fight, keep the gloves on and keep it above belt. It's OK to tell someone you're upset with them without resorting to name-calling, insults and yelling. No one is perfect, for sure, and I'll be the first one to raise my hand to say that I'm not, but there's a basic sense of decency missing in so many relationships today; should we really need to be reminded on February 14th to embrace that sense of decency with the person we've chosen to share our lives with? To me, this is the essence of foolishness. Rather, we should try to live up to the highest possible ideal of treating that person with decency and respect every day, so that one particular day in February can be made special, but doesn't stand alone in reminding our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives just exactly how important they are to us. Let this Valentine's Day be the day when we choose to embrace such a notion.
I was inspired (and continue to be) by these words from Marianne Williamson in her poem "A Return to Love". I hope they inspire you, my friends, the way they have inspired me. Enjoy.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
I didn't exactly have the best role models for how to forge a lasting, loving relationship. My parents are good people, but like many they found themselves divorced after my brother and I left for college. I witnessed much chaos and mutual disrespect, which has a lasting effect on a teenage boy. I chose (yes, I believe there to be a choice in the matter) to unlearn what I had learned and now approach each of my relationships (whether family, friendships or romantic interests) from the standpoint of mutual respect. If you're going to fight, keep the gloves on and keep it above belt. It's OK to tell someone you're upset with them without resorting to name-calling, insults and yelling. No one is perfect, for sure, and I'll be the first one to raise my hand to say that I'm not, but there's a basic sense of decency missing in so many relationships today; should we really need to be reminded on February 14th to embrace that sense of decency with the person we've chosen to share our lives with? To me, this is the essence of foolishness. Rather, we should try to live up to the highest possible ideal of treating that person with decency and respect every day, so that one particular day in February can be made special, but doesn't stand alone in reminding our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives just exactly how important they are to us. Let this Valentine's Day be the day when we choose to embrace such a notion.
I was inspired (and continue to be) by these words from Marianne Williamson in her poem "A Return to Love". I hope they inspire you, my friends, the way they have inspired me. Enjoy.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
posted by The Rock | 8:45 AM
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